Tonight I Wanna Cry
by Harlequin Law
Summary: On Christmas Eve, Sesshoumaru reflects on the mistakes he has made in the past. Kagome has left! Will she return or is Sesshoumaru destined to be alone? One-shot


The lyrics are from the song **__**Tonight I Wanna Cry by Keith Urban**__**. So nobody complains about Kagome's eyes, I'm keeping them blue like Rumiko made them. They are human, but Sesshoumaru has the silver hair and amber eyes.

 _Disclaimer_ : All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

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Sesshoumaru looked around the large living room at all the red and green decorations that Kagome had put up right after Thanksgiving. That of course was before she left. He had always thought that it was ridiculous to decorate that early, but Kagome had always insisted and the house would always be done before he got home from work so he had no choice anyway. Everything looked perfect except for two things. One, there was only a few presents under the tree and two, Kagome was gone. And it was his fault, he pushed her too far and she left.

 _ _Alone in this house again tonight  
I got the TV on, the sound turned down and a bottle of wine  
There's pictures of you and I on the walls around me  
The way that it was and could have been surrounds me  
I'll never get over you walkin' away__

She left a week before Christmas and took all of her clothes, and the presents except the ones she got for Sesshoumaru. Kagome would always wrap them special so Sesshoumaru couldn't figure out what they were. Sesshoumaru sat in the black leather recliner that Kagome got him last Christmas and swirled his glass of wine and thought about all the things that Kagome did that he took for granted.

 _ _I've never been the kind to let my feelings show  
And I thought that bein' strong meant never losin' your self-control  
__  
Kagome changed him so much from how he was when they first met. She showed Sesshoumaru how important it was to share your feelings and she was the first person he ever showed his to, only in private though. Then he had to go and let his pride get in the way too many times when they were in public and Kagome couldn't take it anymore. She told him she was leaving and he came home one day and she was gone.

 _ _But I'm drunk enough to let go of my pain  
To hell with my pride, let it fall like rain  
From my eyes  
Tonight wanna cry  
__  
Sesshoumaru sat there and felt something wet on his cheek. He wiped it away and looked at it and realized that he was crying. Never could he remember crying over anything before. He missed Kagome so much and wished there was something that he could do to get her back.

 _ _Would it help if I turned a sad song on  
__ _"_ _ _All By Myself" would sure hit me hard now that you're gone  
Or maybe unfold some old, yellow, lost love letters  
It's gonna hurt bad before it gets better  
But I'll never get over you by hidin' this way__

He got down on his knees and wished with all his heart for Kagome to forgive him and come back. Sesshoumaru sighed, thinking that it was foolish to wish for something that would probably never happen. He was so deep in thought that he didn't hear the front door open and close. Or the footsteps that came up behind him. Sesshoumaru finally snapped out of his trance when he felt two slender arms wrap themselves around him from behind. He held his breath, afraid that they would disappear if he breathed.

Kagome put her chin on his shoulder and whispered to him, "Maru, what are you doing here on the floor?" Sesshoumaru let his breath out and slowly replied, "Wishing to get the best thing in my life back."

Kagome crawled around and sat on her knees in front of him and looked at him. She noticed that his faced was streaked with tears. Deep sapphire eyes stared into warm golden ones and Kagome asked, "What is this thing that you want back so badly?" Confusion flashed across Sesshoumaru's face until he realized that she didn't know he was talking about her. "I want you back; I want to apologize for my mistakes and I will do whatever I have to, to get you to come back to me." Kagome looked thoughtful for a moment, put her small hands on his cheeks and then replied, "But I already came back, I thought about it and I understand that it will take time for you to be able to be more open towards me in public, if ever. I also realized that what was really important is how you are when it is just us." Sesshoumaru let everything Kagome said sink in and then he pulled her into a tight embrace. "Thank you, Kagome. I love you so much." If it wasn't so quiet then Kagome wouldn't have heard him, "I love you too, Sesshoumaru." "Let's go to bed, it's really late and we have a lot to do tomorrow." Kagome stood and helped Sesshoumaru up. Taking his hand in hers, Kagome pulled Sesshoumaru upstairs to their bedroom to sleep until Christmas morning.

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So, I wrote this around '09-'10 and just decided to repost it to this site. Hope you enjoy a bit of Kag/Sess fluff. Thanks

 **ORIGINAL POSTING DATE:** April 21, 2011

 **WORDS:** 808


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